Last Friday, I was invited to the bi-monthly dinner party hosted by a christian outreach organization with whom I enjoy good company with. But it was only recently that I shared my weird experiences with religion for the first time with anybody. What resulted was a feeling of liberation that I was able to share my skepticism with God with people who believed in God.
My relationship with Him seems to be at a 3 way junction. I'll put it into three paragraphs as the weeks go by.
1) My family's God. I was first exposed to God when I was about 3 when my grandparents took me to Church, and I cared less about it. I was young, and I preferred to play with toy bulldozers than to read another book, especially something as big and complicated as the Bible. I continued to go to Church with my grandparents until I was 14, when my grandfather became too weak. Unfortunately, I treated Church like a vitamin pill; I thought it was necessary, but I had no care for it. Whenever I prayed for anything or anyone, it seemed that I was at the bottom of God's shopping list. I did not feel as if I was getting an answer. When I was around 14, I went to my friend's Sunday School, and I was shown a skit in which they (and in their view, righteously) ridiculed non-Christian religions by claiming their idols did not exist and that the only path to salvation was with God, no questions asked.
After that event, and an intense conversation with my friend on whether Hindus and Muslims were going to Hell, I was completely disillusioned with what I was taught. Was I learning to love God, or was I learning to glorify His name through the negation of what others believed in? From that point until I was about 15, I declared myself atheist and free from the complications of deist debate.
Part 2 will be coming up. Stay tuned.
My relationship with Him seems to be at a 3 way junction. I'll put it into three paragraphs as the weeks go by.
1) My family's God. I was first exposed to God when I was about 3 when my grandparents took me to Church, and I cared less about it. I was young, and I preferred to play with toy bulldozers than to read another book, especially something as big and complicated as the Bible. I continued to go to Church with my grandparents until I was 14, when my grandfather became too weak. Unfortunately, I treated Church like a vitamin pill; I thought it was necessary, but I had no care for it. Whenever I prayed for anything or anyone, it seemed that I was at the bottom of God's shopping list. I did not feel as if I was getting an answer. When I was around 14, I went to my friend's Sunday School, and I was shown a skit in which they (and in their view, righteously) ridiculed non-Christian religions by claiming their idols did not exist and that the only path to salvation was with God, no questions asked.
After that event, and an intense conversation with my friend on whether Hindus and Muslims were going to Hell, I was completely disillusioned with what I was taught. Was I learning to love God, or was I learning to glorify His name through the negation of what others believed in? From that point until I was about 15, I declared myself atheist and free from the complications of deist debate.
Part 2 will be coming up. Stay tuned.
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