By the time I turned 18, I was given the complete freedom of making my own identity independent from my parents. While I was able to easily tweak my identity of clothing, eating habits, and maturity (or lack of maturity), the option of choosing what religion I wanted to believe in seemed like too heavy a subject to want to deal with.
It's probably now that I am in great need of a god. All my life, I was surrounded by religions of one form or another. The biggest obstacle that I find troubling are the consequences of my foreboding choice I will have to make. Will I join my extended Korean family's take on Christianity and call non-Christians evil? Or will I follow my stepfather's footsteps with a god that I feel truly exists, and earn the disgust of my extended Korean family? I've followed the road of postponing this decision (ie, atheism), but more recently, I've felt so ungrateful for what my life has turned into. Who can I thank for my loving parents, my two dogs, my education, or just life in general? Who's been answering my prayers and giving me so much to be grateful for?
Austin,
ReplyDeleteThis blog was interesting for me to read because I am very unfamiliar with the situation you must be in right now. I was born and raised as Jew and my whole family is Jewish, and marrying outside the faith is largely looked down upon. I can not imagine the pressure you must feel to have to choose your religion knowing that different people in your family might change the way they view you thereafter. At the same time I find it a very interesting approach to religion. I feel that you see the significance and believe in a higher being, but you must choose who the higher being is. Is there anyway that you can make yourself and your whole family happy? I would love to know what you decide to do.
-Amanda U